Thoughtless Memories
by Mr. JRyan
Summary: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say ‘I love you’ like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn’t feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... He was wrong.
1. Chapter One: It Begins

**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester... though I wish I did. Can I have them for a Holiday Present... Please?

**Title**: Thoughtless Memories

**Chapter Title**: Chapter One: It Begins

**Set After**: Asylum

**Summary**: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say 'I love you' like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn't feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... But one day Sam was attacked while Dean went out for coffee... And he found something worse than that pain. "Sam? You okay?" "Um... Do I know you?" Now Dean's fighting to save his only brother... and his memories... But will he make it in time?

**Warnings**: Sadness... A lot.

* * *

_"Jess! I'm home! Jess?"_

_Sam walked into his room, and smiled slightly when he heard the shower going. Everything was right again. His interview was less than 24 hours away, he was back at home with his girlfriend, he was just about to get a free ride into Law School, and he didn't have to worry about any more hunting trips. Yup, life was good._

_Sam closed his eyes and laid back on his bed, his soon-to-be life flashing through his mind. Three kids, a dog and a cat, a white picket fence around his perfect 'Pleasantville' house and --- Woah, woah. Wait. Did something just drip on him?_

_Sam opened his eyes, them growing wide as he stared at his girlfriend gutted on the ceiling. He gasped. "Jess!"_

_"You lied to me..." Jess whispered just before the flames enveloped her._

_"Jessica!"_

"Sam! Sammy! Wake up!"

Sam opened his eyes quickly, finding himself in a hotel room. He was sweating, and his clothes were sticking to his skin. He looked to his left to find his older brother staring at him with scared and concerned eyes. He was also wearing a nice outfit of shaving cream.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, still looking at Sam with the same expression.

Sam laughed slightly, noticing the razor in his brother's hand. "Dean?"

"What?"

"You're bleeding."

"Bitch." Dean shook his head and walked back over to the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. "Damn it!"

"It's a good look for you!" Sam yelled across the motel room. He shivered slightly, getting up from his bed. Wow. It was freezing in the room. So it made perfect sense as to why Sam was sweating... Nightmares... Gotta love 'em.

"Shut up," Dean said, giving him a 'look' before rinsing his face off. He walked out of the bathroom and over to his bed, sitting down. "What can you expect? It was all peaceful and quiet in here and shit and all of a sudden I hear a scream: 'Jessica!'" Dean mocked fright and waved his hand in the air. He looked over at Sam. "You never answered my question."

Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed a towel, heading towards the bathroom. "I'm fine, Dean."

"Really? Cause you didn't seem that fine to me. You do realize that it's, like, 40 degrees in this room, those blankets are as thin as paper, and you were sweating so much your hair was sticking to your face?" Dean walked over to his suitcase and grabbed some socks and his boots, walking back over to his bed and sitting down.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, setting down the towel on the counter, taking his shirt off as he sat down on the toilet. He threw his shirt on the floor and started on his socks.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Somewhere where my kid brother isn't stripping in front of me, that's where."

Sam rolled his eyes as Dean stood up. He sighed and walked out of the bathroom. "Dean... We need to talk."

Dean stopped as he reached for the door handle, his other hand holding his jacket. He froze in place for a moment, then nodded, facing Sam. "Yeah, Sam, you're right. We _do_ need to talk... What was last night's nightmare about?"

Sam shook his head. "That's not what we need to talk about, Dean. When we were at the asylum -"

"The asylum?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows. "What's there to talk about? You hate me. I get it, Sammy. No hard feelings."

"Dean, I don't hate you," Sam said, sighing. Yup, he really wasn't going to argue about the name 'Sammy' with his brother while he was trying to convince him that he doesn't hate him... Not the best tactics right there.

Dean scoffed, nodding. "Right, Sammy. Whatever you say. But, really, nothing says 'I love you' like a shot in the chest with rock salt." Dean turned back towards the door, grabbing the door handle and opening it.

"Dean -" Sam started.

"I'm going to get some coffee. I'll be back soon," Dean said before stepping through the door and shutting it quickly.

Sam sighed and walked over to his bed, falling down on it. He groaned loudly, shaking his head.

* * *

"Don't you think you have more coffee there than you can drink?" a girl asked as Dean started towards the stairs leading to his motel room.

Dean turned around and faced the girl. He smirked, then looked down at the coffee. "Well, two of them are for my brother."

"That still leaves three," the girl said innocently, walking over to Dean.

Wow, was she hott. She was just like Katie Holmes out of _Batman Beginnings_. The brown hair, the hott bod, the great chest... Even that flirtatious smile that played along her lips... Damn.

"I'm a heavy drinker," Dean said, shrugging. "You're welcome to take my brother's coffee, though. I'm sure he won't mind. Then again..." Dean walked closer to her. "We could share. I don't mind, as long as you --"

"Dean!"

Dean whipped around, facing the stairs with wide eyes as he started hearing gunfire shots from his motel room. He quickly handed the coffee to the girl. "Take 'em." Dean ran up the stairs, taking them three at a time.

"Dean!"

"Sam!" Dean yelled before grabbing the door handle. Damnit. Locked! He grabbed his gun from his pants and shot at the handle, kicking the door open.

Sam was laying with his back on the floor, screaming in pain. On top of him was a creature... Long pointy nails and teeth that looked as if they could bite through brick. It was brown and scaly, with green blotches on its body. It seemed to have wings coming out of its head, and it had three eyes... At the moment it was holding Sam down by his neck, sticking one of those nails into his head.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled, terrified for his little brother. He shot at the creature, and it quickly faced him.

The creature got off of Sam and started towards Dean, who shot it repeatedly in the chest, before it flicked like a flame and vanished.

Dean stared at the spot where it was a second ago, then dropped his gun to the ground, running over to Sam. Wait a minute. Where was the wound? Where was the blood?

"Sammy?" Dean asked. His brother's eyes were closed and he was panting hard... But he seemed to be in a relieved state. A state which one could only get at by being in searing pain one moment and having nothing wrong with you the next.

Sam opened his eyes and stared at Dean. He looked around the room for a moment, looking confused... searching... He looked back at Dean, and opened his mouth, as if he had something to say. He closed it, looking more confused than ever.

"Sam?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows. "You okay?"

"Uh... Do I know you?"

* * *

**Dean**: I already don't like this story.

**Haley**: And why is that?  
**Dean**: Why? You're seriously asking why I don't like your story when my own little brother doesn't remember me?

**Haley**: Er... Yes?

**Dean**: You're fucking kidding me, right?

**Haley**: Well --

**Sam**: Alright, onto the next chapter! Please!

**Dean**: Bitch.

**Haley**: Hey!

**Dean**: No, not you. Him.

**Sam**: Jerk.


	2. Chapter Two: Trust

**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester... though I wish I did. Excuse me while I go drool at their hotness... **_Exits Stage Right_**.

**Title**: Thoughtless Memories

**Chapter Title**: Chapter Two: Trust

**Set After**: Asylum

**Summary**: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say 'I love you' like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn't feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... But one day Sam was attacked while Dean went out for coffee... And he found something worse than that pain. "Sam? You okay?" "Um... Do I know you?" Now Dean's fighting to save his only brother... and his memories... But will he make it in time?

**Warnings**: Totally short chapter... You must forgive me! x.x

* * *

**"Sammy?" Dean asked. His brother's eyes were closed and he was panting hard... But he seemed to be in a relieved state. A state which one could only get at by being in searing pain one moment and having nothing wrong with you the next.**

**Sam opened his eyes and stared at Dean. He looked around the room for a moment, looking confused... searching... He looked back at Dean, and opened his mouth, as if he had something to say. He closed it, looking more confused than ever.**

**"Sam?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows. "You okay?"**

**"Uh... Do I know you?"**

* * *

**"**Excuse me?" Dean asked, feeling like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest. For a moment he couldn't breath.

He had _always_ had someone to count on... to be there for him, no matter what. Even when Sam was away at college Dean knew he could always just go to his place or call him or whatever... and Sam would be there. That's how Dean knew that Sam would search for their father with him, even _before_ Jessica was killed. But now? Now it seemed as if the ground beneath Dean had been ripped out from underneath him, and he was falling... a time when Sam would've saved him but now... now he was left falling... with no one to catch him.

"I... I'm sorry," Sam said, sitting up. He stared at Dean for a moment, searching his face for some sort of familiarity... But he found nothing. Nothing at all. The face he was staring to was the face of a stranger. "I don't know who you are... Now that I think of it... I don't know who _I_ am... Who am I?"

Dean sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. He had to keep his cool. Freaking out wasn't going to help Sam remember a damn thing. If he wanted to help his brother he had to be understanding... He had to give it time... How the hell was he going to do that? Dean wasn't exactly known for his patience...

"Come on," Dean said, standing up. He held out a hand and, after hesitating for a moment, Sam took it, and Dean pulled him to his feet. Dean walked over to his bed and sat down, Sam following him. "You're... You're Sam Winchester. I'm Dean Winchester. We --"

Sam looked around the room, then his eyes went wide. "We're in a motel together... I don't have a shirt on... Oh my god..."

"What?" Dean asked quickly, his eyes going wide at the thought of Sam thinking _way_ of course.

"Are we... Are we... _together_?" Sam asked, whispering the last part as he looked back at Dean.

"No!" Dean said, standing up quickly. "No, no, no! We're brothers! We're brothers!"

"Oh!" Sam said quickly, nodding. "You know what? That makes sense. But... Why am I without a shirt?"

"You were about to take a shower before you were... Er... before you hit your head," Dean said, nodding. He looked at Sam's hair, noticing it was wet. "No. That's not right. You took a shower then hit your head while you were getting dressed... Yes..."

Sam looked doubtful. "Okay..."

"You... You trust me, right?" Dean asked, looking a bit hesitant. He silently prayed for Sam to trust him. Because if Sam didn't... well... all hell would break loose. "I mean... I get that you probably don't have much reason to... And you obviously don't remember me... But --"  
"I trust you."

"What?"

Sam smiled slightly, nodding. "I don't know why... But there's something familiar about you... Something that makes me feel safe... Like I'm always protected... And I trust you."

Dean straightened up a bit, nodding. "Well, good. You should."

Sam smiled slightly, nodding. "And I'm sure that I'll get my memories back... Soon." Sam turned around on his bed and grabbed his shirt. He gasped, closing his eyes quickly.

"Sam?" Dean asked quickly. "Sammy?"

Sam opened his eyes, looking over at Dean slowly. "I tried to kill you... I yelled horrible things at you then shot you..."

Dean scratched the back of his head, nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, you did."

"Why would I do that?" Sam asked, looking away from Dean. He shook his head. "I don't understand... If we're brothers... why would I want to kill you?"

"I... I don't know..." Dean looked down at the ground for a moment, then back at Sam. "I... I think it's because you hate me."

Sam shook his head quickly, looking over at Dean. "No."

"What?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Look, Dean, I may not remember what the hell happened in my life and I may not remember growing up with you as my brother, but I don't hate you. I don't know you, but I don't hate you. Somewhere... something inside knows you. I can feel what it feels. I look at you... and I don't doubt that you're my brother. There's something there... I just can't reach it," Sam said, looking Dean in the eye.

Dean looked back at his brother, and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. He nodded, and sighed slightly. "Alright. I... I get it. I understand... I trust what you supposedly feel. But you... you don't hate me?"

Sam shook his head and smiled slightly. "No. I don't hate you. I would say that four letter word, but I'm getting the impression you're not the kind of guy that likes... well --"

"Chick Flick moments?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows. "You're good." He looked around, then sighed slightly. "Well, Sammy --"

"Sam."

"What?"

"Sam."

Dean smiled slightly, nodding. "Well, _Sam_, we need to go find the --- um... We need to go figure out how to fix your head."

"Right. Fix my head," Sam said, nodding. "But can't it... can't it wait?"

Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam, suspicious yet curious. "What, you don't want to get your memories back?"

"I feel like a movie. Don't you?"

"Uh..." Dean thought for a moment, staring at Sam like he was crazy. He shook his head. "No. Now let's go." He walked over to the door and opened it. "Get your shirt on. We have business to take of."

* * *

**Sam**: Figures.

**Dean**: What?

**Sam**: I can't even remember what happened an hour ago and you already want to go on a hunt.

**Dean**: Hey, blame Haley, not me. ... Besides... I obviously just want my brother back. Is that such a crime?

**Haley**: Can both ya'll do me a tiny little bitty favour?

**Dean & Sam**: What?

**Haley**: Shut up.


	3. Chapter Three: What The Hell?

**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester... Sometimes life sucks... **_Sits in dark depressing corner_**.

**Title**: Thoughtless Memories

**Chapter Title**: Chapter Three: What the hell?

**Set After**: Asylum

**Summary**: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say 'I love you' like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn't feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... But one day Sam was attacked while Dean went out for coffee... And he found something worse than that pain. "Sam? You okay?" "Um... Do I know you?" Now Dean's fighting to save his only brother... and his memories... But will he make it in time?

**Warnings**: Hmm... None this time: )

* * *

**Dean smiled slightly, nodding. "Well, _Sam_, we need to go find the --- um... We need to go figure out how to fix your head."**

**"Right. Fix my head," Sam said, nodding. "But can't it... can't it wait?"**

**Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam, suspicious yet curious. "What, you don't want to get your memories back?"**

**"I feel like a movie. Don't you?"**

**"Uh..." Dean thought for a moment, staring at Sam like he was crazy. He shook his head. "No. Now let's go." He walked over to the door and opened it. "Get your shirt on. We have business to take of."**

* * *

"You do realize that we didn't find anything, correct?" Sam walked into their motel room, throwing his jacket down on his bed.

The two brothers had just spent the day searching for some 'beast' that Dean wouldn't shut up about. He even hired an artist to draw it from Dean's descriptions. And he wouldn't even tell Sam what was up with it. He was keeping him in the dark, and it was making Sam curious... Was this the way it usually was between them? Did Dean go and do whatever he wanted, forcefully dragging Sam along for the ride?

"Why didn't we stop by the hospital even once? Or do you enjoy me not knowing what the hell is going on?" Sam asked, sitting down on the bed.

"You seem a little pissed off..." Dean said, nodding as he walked in the door.

"Thanks for that diagnosis, Dr. Phil," Sam said, narrowing his eyes at Dean.

"Sam, I _do_ want you to remember. I want you to know 'what the hell is going on.' I really do. But..." Dean sighed, shaking his head. He walked over to his bed and sat down, Sam's eyes following him the whole way. Dean grabbed his boots and pulled them off, throwing them across the room. He then took off his jacket and set it on the bed. Finally looking over at Sam, he became a bit saddened. "If you could remember you'd understand why I can't tell you."

"That's just the thing, Dean. I _can't _remember." Sam sighed and laid back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

Dean knew they weren't talking anymore. The discussion ended when one of the two simply refused to look at the other, seemingly becoming interested in the stupidest things. And that's exactly what Sam was doing. He was focusing his attention on the ceiling instead of Dean. Well, fine. Two could play that game.

Dean laid back on his own bed. "Night, Sam."

"Whatever."

Dean sighed and reached over at the lamp, turning off the light.

* * *

"What the hell!"

Dean groaned, turning over in his bed. He sighed, his eyes closed tightly. Yawning, he opened them up slowly. He looked over at the clock. 3 am. Wake up time wasn't for a while... What was going on? Dean sat up, turned on the light and looked over at Sam, who looked scared beyond reason.

"Sam?"

Sam quickly looked over at Dean, his eyes wide in fear. "What the hell!"

"I believe you've already said that," Dean said, getting out of bed.

"And I'll say it again: What the hell!" Sam quickly got out of his own bed and looked around quickly. He noticed a gun on the table and grabbed it, pointing it at Dean.

"Woah, talk about Deja Vu," Dean said, his eyes going wide.

"Who are you?" Sam asked quickly, narrowing his eyes at Dean.

"Sam, just put the gun down, okay?" Dean said slowly, raising his hands up slightly. "God, am I awake now."

"Who is Sam?" Sam asked, looking a bit confused.

"Okay, you've had a relapse... I can deal with this," Dean said, nodding. "Just... just do both of us a favor and put the gun down alright? Please?"

Sam thought for a moment, then shook his head. "No. Make me."

Dean sighed and closed his eyes. He did something that always helped him _not_ kill his little brother on the spot: He counted to ten silently inside his head. After a few moments he opened his eyes again and nodding, not looking surprised at the way things were turning out. If Sam hadn't said the day before that he didn't hate Dean, Dean would've... well, he would've thought that this came from that hate. But it was obvious Sam was just scared and confused. He'd just have to deal for a little bit.

"Sam... Buddy... Look into my eyes, alright? You don't want to shoot me. You know me. You do. I know you do," Dean said, his voice almost pleading... Almost.

Sam shook his head. "No. I don't." He started towards the door, and Dean started to go after him until Sam pointed the gun at him again, causing him to freeze on the spot. "Unless you want to see your brain splattered on the wall right before you die then you'd better let me go."

Dean shook his head. "I can't. I can't let you go, Sam. It's too dangerous out there by yourself. Especially at this time of night and especially in your condition."

"So you'd rather you die then me go out there, is that right?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows. He looked a bit shocked, but his face was still hard.

_Good job, Sammy. Keep cool in serious and terrifying situations like these... Even if you don't remember anything, it's good to know you still have good survival instincts... Don't show your enemy any of your weakness... Even if the enemy is me this time. _Truth is, Dean would've done anything to get Sam to break. Hell, _Dean_ was about to break.

"Yeah, that's right," Dean said, nodding. "Believe it or not."

Sam just stared at Dean, the gun still pointed at him. He stood that way for a few moments, then looked at his gun. Hesitating, Sam looked back and forth between Dean and the gun. Dean probably would've made a wise crack about it, but fear of being killed stopped him. Finally Sam lowered the gun. He sighed, then walked over to Dean, handing it to him.

"Alright. I'll stay," Sam said, walking over to the bed. He sat down and sighed.

Dean sighed and set the gun down on the table before sitting down on his own bed, facing Sam. He stared at him for a moment. "You don't remember anything?"

Sam looked over at Dean, then shook his head. "No. I don't."

"But you trust me?" Dean asked, a bit hopeful.

"It's hard not to trust someone when they said that they'd rather die then have something bad happen to you," Sam said, smiling slightly. "I trust you. Whoever you are. But... what you said makes me think that we're close."

"We're as close as two men can get. We're brothers." Dean stood up and walked over to Sam's bag. He unzipped it and pulled out a photo album, walking back over to Sam.

"We're brothers?" Sam asked. He then smiled slightly, nodding. "Makes sense... You're older, right?"

Dean stared at Sam for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Your guard. Your vibe. You try to be strong around me... you don't want to show any weakness. But at the same time you have a protecting nature... And love. Something you wouldn't just share with anyone." Sam smiled slightly, nodding. He looked down at the ground for a moment, his smile fading. "Sorry." He looked back up at Dean. "You probably don't like being analyzed like that."

"No, no, it's alright," Dean said, nodding. "Any other time I probably would have made a joke out of it or would have made a smart ass remark... but not right now. You, uh... You don't need that right now. You need someone to trust."

"How did this happen to me?" Sam asked quietly.

"We'll go into that later... At the moment I just need you to look at these," Dean said, handing Sam the photo album. At Sam's questioning look he continued: "Well, you like to keep photos. I don't know why, it's just something weird you do. Anyway, yesterday you had this problem too; you couldn't remember anything. But then you touched one of your shirts and remembered. I'm hoping the pictures will do the same thing."

Sam nodded, then started leafing through the pictures. He smiled slightly at one, where two young boys were smiling, one of them with cake on his face, and a birthday hat on his head.

Dean sat down next to Sam and smiled slightly. "Dad must have given you that..." He pointed to the boy standing up. "That's me. And that," he pointed the boy with cake on his face, "is you. It was your fourth birthday. You were four, obviously, and I was eight."

"We look happy."

"At that point we were," Dean said, nodding. "We were, Sammy."

"Is that my name?" Sam asked, looking up at Dean. "Sammy?"

"Well, it's Sam," Dean said, nodding. "And I'm Dean."

Sam nodded. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Dean."

"It's nice to be met."

* * *

**Dean**: Please do not tell me this is going to happen in every chapter. How exciting: A life trying to convince my brother that he's Sam Winchester and I'm his older brother Dean!

**Haley**: If you would be so kind to please shut up then we could get on with the story.

**Dean**: Yeah, whatever.


	4. Chapter Four: Don't Leave

**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester... Hello, my name is Haley, and I'm obsessed with Supernatural... And how hott Sam and Dean are! **_Runs around like a crazy woman_**!

**Title**: Thoughtless Memories

**Chapter Title**: Chapter Four: Don't Leave

**Set After**: Asylum

**Summary**: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say 'I love you' like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn't feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... But one day Sam was attacked while Dean went out for coffee... And he found something worse than that pain. "Sam? You okay?" "Um... Do I know you?" Now Dean's fighting to save his only brother... and his memories... But will he make it in time?

**Warnings**: Abandonment... Again...

* * *

**Sam nodded, then started leafing through the pictures. He smiled slightly at one, where two young boys were smiling, one of them with cake on his face, and a birthday hat on his head.**

**Dean sat down next to Sam and smiled slightly. "Dad must have given you that..." He pointed to the boy standing up. "That's me. And that," he pointed the boy with cake on his face, "is you. It was your fourth birthday. You were four, obviously, and I was eight."**

**"We look happy."**

**"At that point we were," Dean said, nodding. "We were, Sammy."**

**"Is that my name?" Sam asked, looking up at Dean. "Sammy?"**

**"Well, it's Sam," Dean said, nodding. "And I'm Dean."**

**Sam nodded. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Dean."**

**"It's nice to be met."**

* * *

**"**Okay, Sam, I'm not going to tell you everything. If I did you'd run away like a scared little girl and never look back." Dean finished packing some weapons in their trunk, and looked up at Sam. "But you're going to have to trust me. And when I tell you to do something just do it, no questions asked. Okay?"

Sam hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. Okay, Dean." He climbed into the passenger seat of Dean's car.

Dean climbed into the opposite seat, then looked over at Sam, starting the car. "Let's get this party started."

* * *

"Sir, I heard you're looking for something," a man, somewhere around Dean's age, said, walking up to Sam and Dean as they sat in a restaurant booth, Dean researching on a laptop that they had borrowed from the restaurant owner.

Dean looked up at him, then narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me?"

The man grabbed the drawing that Dean had had sketched earlier and took in the detail for a few moments. He nodded, looking a bit sad.

"You know where to find it?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows. He looked hopeful, but knew that this man didn't have a friendly encounter with it.

"Who did it attack?" the man asked, looking back and forth between Sam and Dean.

"My brother. Him," Dean said, jerking his head in Sam's direction.

"Where?" the man asked, now staring at Sam with interest.

"Why?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes at the man. "Why are you so curious?"

"Why are you answering my questions?" the man asked, raising his eyebrows. When Dean remained silent, he nodded. "We both know why. I've have en encounter with it."

"What's your name?" Dean asked, crossing his arms.

"Kyle."

"What happened, Kyle?" Sam asked, looking a bit hesitant and scared.

"Can I, uh... Can I speak with your brother alone for a moment?" Kyle asked Sam.

Dean shook his head. "No. Whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of him. So sit your ass down."

Kyle sighed and nodded. "I need to show you something first."

* * *

"Why the hell are we here?" Dean asked, looking around as the three men made their way through a graveyard.

"This," Kyle said, stopping at a grave. He sighed sadly and knelt down next to it. "This is my brother. It attacked him."

Dean knelt down next to him, and looked up at Sam. Sam nodded before walking a bit away from the two. He instinctively knew that whatever Kyle was about to tell Dean wasn't going to be good... and Dean didn't want it to scare Sam.

"It seemed okay at first. Like he had amnesia or something," Kyle said, shrugging. "We'd bond throughout the day, go to bed, then the next morning he wouldn't remember a thing. We just kept going on like that for a couple days... Then he started getting weaker... headaches... A couple days after the headaches started he collapsed, so I took him to the hospital. They tried to figure out what was wrong... tried to find a cure, but he died before they could get anywhere." Kyle looked at Dean. "I'll help you."

"Why?" Dean asked, looking down at the grave. Inside he knew why. He knew _exactly_ why.

"Because losing a little brother is the worst feeling in the world. I know that you're going through a lot at the moment right now... having to deal with his panic each morning because he has no clue who he is, who you are... But losing him is so much worse. And I want to spare someone else the pain that I went through," Kyle said, looking over at Dean. "No older brother should have to burry their younger brother until you _know_ the time is right. Not until you're both old and white."

Dean nodded. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost Sam..."

Kyle nodded and stood up. "Image that it isn't my little brother in that grave... that it's _yours_."

Dean stood up and stared at the grave, looking scared. His face was still hard, but the look in his eyes told you that he had never been that scared in his whole life.

"Ow."

Dean looked over at Sam. "Sam?"

Sam shook his head, closing his eyes slightly and touching his forehead. "It's nothing. It's just a small headache."

Dean quickly looked at Kyle. "Let's go kick some monster ass."

* * *

"Sam, can we talk?"

Dean stood in the door way to a guest room that Kyle had lent him and Sam in his house. They would've had separate rooms, but Dean was afraid that something might happen to Sam, so he convinced his brother into one room. Currently Sam was taking off his shoes after having thrown his bag on a chair in the corner.

Sam looked up at Dean and nodded. "Yeah, sure. What is it?"

"Um... It's about what happened to you." Dean walked into the room and grabbed a chair, carrying it over to Sam's bed. He spun it around and sat down, resting his arms on the backrest.

Sam took off his left shoe and set it down slowly next to his right. He nodded. "Alright."

Dean sighed, thinking for a moment. "Well, there's no real easy way to say this, Sam, so I'm just going to go right out and say it.

"Sam, our mother was murdered when you were a baby. By something supernatural. So our dad then devoted the rest of his life trying to find that demon, carrying us along for the ride. We learned how to fight, hunt... We save people, Sam. We save them from the paranormal. And we were in town doing exactly that. We had finished and we were ready to leave the day of the attack... A demon or something attacked you. Stuck something inside your head... He's the reason you don't remember anything... And he's the reason that you're going to die if Kyle and myself don't hurry our asses up and save you."

Dean studied Sam, waiting for a reaction of some kind. But Sam just sat there, staring at Dean. A few moments went by in the silence of the room, before Sam stood up quickly.

"Sam?" Dean stood up also, looking ready to fight his brother if he tried to pull anything stupid.

Sam shook his head. "No. I'm normal. The supernatural isn't even real, Dean. It --"

"It is, Sam. We fight it on a daily basis. Shadows _do_ move... The voices at midnight isn't the wind... it's whispers from spirits that have yet to move on... Bloody Mary wasn't made up. Hell, we fought her, and you almost died in the process! Then I almost died saving your ass! Sam, the supernatural _is_ real. Whether you want to believe it or not." Dean stood there, looking his brother square in the eye. Sure, it wasn't an easy thing for his brother to process, but he'd get over it, right? He'd learn to accept it and help out once more, right?

"I'm out of here," Sam said, starting towards the door.

Wrong.

Dean shook his head, grabbing Sam's arm. "No you're not. You're staying right here."

Sam narrowed his eyes at Dean and pulled away from his grasp. "Look, Dean -- if that's your real name -- I don't know who you are or who you're trying to kid, but I don't have time for this bullshit. I'm trying to figure out why I have amnesia. And if that's a problem for you I'll just find that god damn gun and do what I should've done this morning."

Dean backed up a few steps. "Sam, please." His eyes were actually pleading this time. Like he wanted his brother to go out into the world alone with god only knows what hunting him. That thing was still after Sam. Dean knew it.

Sam shook his head, glaring at Dean, before walking out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

**Dean**: Gee, love you too, bro.

**Sam**: Hey, shut up. It's not my fault Haley's writing it this way.

**Haley**: I thought it was a nice twist.

**Dean**: Damn authors and their stupid twists...

**Haley**: What was that?  
**Dean**: Nothing...

**Haley**: That's what I thought.

* * *

**Haley**: Now to respond to a few of the lovely reviews you guys gave me! .

**Sam**: 'doyoufeellikeyourfallingdown': I --

**Dean**: Ha, nice pen name there.

**Haley**: Don't make fun. Alright, Sam, go on.

**Sam**: I also enjoy mine and Dean's conversations… And I also hope I don't keep forgetting…

**Dean**: 'teal-lover': Yeah, that'd be hell to explain, huh? Just hope Haley doesn't keep doing that…

**Haley**: Heh…

**Sam**: 'Spuffyshipper': Yes, poor me. I hope I get my memory back soon, too.

**Dean**: 'nighttime writer': Really? I don't…

**Haley**: Shut up.

**Dean**: Women…

**Sam**: 'warrior of the shadow': Yeah, it _was_ harder for me to trust Dean the second time around… Poor Dean.

**Dean**: Shut up, Bitch.

**Sam**: Jerk.

**Dean**: 'whimseyrhodes':

**All**: …


	5. Chapter Five: Reunions

**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester... Damn

**Title**: Thoughtless Memories

**Chapter Title**: Chapter Five: Reunions

**Set After**: Asylum

**Summary**: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say 'I love you' like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn't feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... But one day Sam was attacked while Dean went out for coffee... And he found something worse than that pain. "Sam? You okay?" "Um... Do I know you?" Now Dean's fighting to save his only brother... and his memories... But will he make it in time?

**Warnings**: Hmm... Happy times xD

* * *

**Sam narrowed his eyes at Dean and pulled away from his grasp. "Look, Dean -- if that's your real name -- I don't know who you are or who you're trying to kid, but I don't have time for this bullshit. I'm trying to figure out why I have amnesia. And if that's a problem for you I'll just find that god damn gun and do what I should've done this morning."**

**Dean backed up a few steps. "Sam, please." His eyes were actually pleading this time. Like he wanted his brother to go out into the world alone with god only knows what hunting him. That thing was still after Sam. Dean knew it.**

**Sam shook his head, glaring at Dean, before walking out of the room, slamming the door behind him.**

* * *

Dean paced his room, the tears threatening to spill over. But, no, he wouldn't allow that. He _couldn't_ allow that. He was stronger than that. He was _raised_ stronger than that. It didn't matter that his brother was going to die soon. It didn't matter that his brother was out in the world, alone, with no memory. It didn't matter that some sort of monster was hunting his brother... He couldn't break down. Where did that get anyone? No where. All crying a breaking down did was take up your time and cause you to lose focus on the goal... No way, Dean wouldn't break down.

Dean shook his head and grabbed his cell, dialing his father's number quickly. As it rang, he took a few deep breaths. He wouldn't let his father hear his teary voice. No way. He'd have to keep cool. He just _had_ to.

As the answering machine kicked in, Dean realized that he couldn't help it. The only thing keeping him from crying was not admitting out loud that he just fucked up his 'older brother' role and that Sam was two pennies away from a grave.

"Dad... I need your help," Dean said, his voice already cracking. "Someone got Sam... something hurt him... Now he can't remember anything, and I ran into a guy that said if we don't help Sam soon he'll die... And a little while ago Sam freaked out on me and ran off... I searched, but I couldn't find him... Please, Dad, you have to help. I really need you right now. I can't lose him, Dad. I just... I can't. We're, uh... We're just outside of LA. Staying with that guy I mentioned, Kyle. His house is 3895 18th Street, North West of LA." Dean sighed and nodded. "Please, Dad. Just... Please."

Dean ended the call and fell back on the bed Kyle was letting him use. He covered his face with his hands, stressed out. God damn, life was a bitch sometimes.

* * *

John opened his car door, and froze for a moment when he saw his phone flashing: _1 New Voice Mail_. He climbed in the car and grabbed his phone. He dialed his voice mail and listened intently.

"Dad... I need your help." John heard his eldest Son's voice crack, and worry started to overcome John he continued listening. "Someone got Sam... something hurt him..." Dean could handle it on his own. He was strong. "Now he can't remember anything, and I ran into a guy that said if we don't help Sam soon he'll die..." Sam was strong. He wouldn't die. Besides, Dean wouldn't let that happen. He loved his little brother, and he'd go to the ends of the earth for him. No, Sam would be just fine. "And a little while ago Sam freaked out on me and ran off... I searched, but I couldn't find him... Please, Dad, you have to help. I really need you right now." John sighed. Dean avoided admitting that he needed help and that he needed people. It was hard for him, and John knew that. "I can't lose him, Dad. I just... I can't... We're, uh, we're just outside of LA. Staying with that guy I mentioned, Kyle. His house is 3895 18th Street, North West of LA. Please, Dad. Just... Please."

John turned off his phone and looked out over the road ahead of him. He sighed, shaking his head. "I wonder how long it'll take me to get to LA."

* * *

The next morning Sam woke up, looking around. He sighed, closing his eyes tightly as a massive headache hit him. He shook his head and opened his eyes slowly, looking around. Where the hell was he? What was going on? How did he get here?... Who _was_ he?

Sam stood up and took in the sites around him. He was in... _the forest_? Sam shook his head and slowly started walking around. After a few moments he listened intently, hearing cars not too far away. He started running in that direction, jumping over logs and ducking under branches. Finally he emerged from the trees and looked around.

He was in a supermarket parking lot, and a car was driving his way. Sam backed up a little as he realized it was heading straight for him. He kept backing up, and finally the car swerved, stopping right next to Sam. A man smiled at him from the driver's seat.

"You looked a little lost," the man said, reaching over and opening the passenger's door. "Come on in. I'll take you wherever you need to go."

Sam stared at the man for a few moments. Should he trust him? Maybe... Maybe he should... He seemed like a reasonable man... And Sam could use someone to trust right about now. He nodded, climbing in the car. "Thanks."

"My name's John," the man said, turning to leave the parking lot. After a few moments of silence, he looked over at Sam. "What's yours?"

"I... I, uh, don't know," Sam said, looking a bit confused. He looked over at the man. "Where are we going?"

"To someone who can help," John said, smiling slightly.

* * *

Kyle walked into the kitchen, where Dean was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in his hands. He was staring at the wall, looking out of it. "Dean, there's a man named John in the living room. He brought Sam back."

Dean looked up at Kyle before quickly setting down his coffee and running out of the kitchen, into the living room. He smiled as his saw his father and his brother.

John walked over to Dean, keeping his voice down so Sam couldn't hear him. "Sam's in bad shape, Dean. He knows his name now, but he doesn't know you or me."

Dean looked over at his brother, who was staring around the house. He looked confused and a bit scared. Quite frankly, Dean couldn't blame him. Being in a strange house with people you don't know, all the while not being able to remember his past? It was enough to freak anyone out.

"How'd you get him to remember his name?" Dean asked, looking back at his father.

John shook his head. "I didn't do anything. There was this girl... She brought some memories back."

"A girl?" Dean asked, furrowing his brow. "Who?"

"Her name was Jess," John said, looking over at Sam for a moment before looking back to Dean.

Dean shook his head. "No, Dad, that's not possible. Jess was Sam's girlfriend. She died. I saw her die the way Mom died. It couldn't have been her."

"It was," John said, shrugging. "And she seemed perfectly alive to me."

Dean looked over at his brother. "How'd Sam react?"

"As soon as he saw her he knew he had been in love with her at one time," John said, smiling slightly. "He just knew."

"Where is she now?" Dean asked, looking back at his father.

"Hey, guys," Jess said, walking down the hallway. "Dropped a few things off in one of the guest rooms. Don't mind if I steal Sam from you do you, Dean?" She smiled.

Dean stared at her. "Can we talk?"

Jess shrugged. "I don't know. Can we? Well, it sounds like _I_ can. Can you?"

Dean rolled his eyes. Where did Sam find these people?

Jess walked over to Sam and John. "Look, Dean, it's a long story. One I'd be happy to explain to you. _Later_. Alright?"

Dean nodded. "Fine. As long as you're not some spirit here to help my brother into the great beyond I have no problem with you."

Jess smiled slightly. "Don't worry. I'm not a spirit. I was, but I'm alive and breathing now. And Sam will stay the same way. Promise."

"She can help, Dean," John said as Jess walked over to Sam and sat down next to him. "I promise she can."

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Dean asked, tearing his eyes away from Jess, looking back at his father.

John nodded. "I have to. I'm sorry."

Dean nodded. "Well... thanks for coming. And thanks for bringing Sam back to me."

John nodded before heading to the door. He looked at Sam. "Take care." Sam smiled at him, nodding, before John left.

Dean turned to Jess. "Me, you, kitchen now."

* * *

**Sam**: Zombie girlfriend back from the dead?

**Haley**: I promise you there's a good explanation for Jess being back. You'll just have to wait and see what that is, now won't you?

**Dean**: You better not make me all understanding and shit. I'll hurt you if you do.

**Haley**: Oh, don't worry. You'll be plenty suspicious.

**Dean**: With good reason.

**Haley**: Well, I'd rather not give away my secrets for the future of this story to my readers _and_ you guys, so we're gonna stop this discussion at the moment and pick it back up next time, 'kay?

**Dean**: Whatever.


	6. Chapter Six: Memories

**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester... I want them! **_Grabs Sam and Dean and runs off laughing like a maniac_**.

**Title**: Thoughtless Memories

**Chapter Title**: Chapter Six: Memories

**Set After**: Asylum

**Summary**: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say 'I love you' like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn't feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... But one day Sam was attacked while Dean went out for coffee... And he found something worse than that pain. "Sam? You okay?" "Um... Do I know you?" Now Dean's fighting to save his only brother... and his memories... But will he make it in time?

**Warnings**: Fluff... _major_ fluff... And Dean crying! x.x

* * *

**"A girl?" Dean asked, furrowing his brow. "Who?"**

**"Her name was Jess," John said, looking over at Sam for a moment before looking back to Dean.**

**Dean shook his head. "No, Dad, that's not possible. Jess was Sam's girlfriend. She died. I saw her die the way Mom died. It couldn't have been her."**

**"It was," John said, shrugging. "And she seemed perfectly alive to me."**

**"Hey, guys," Jess said, walking down the hallway. "Dropped a few things off in one of the guest rooms. Don't mind if I steal Sam from you do you, Dean?" She smiled.**

**Dean turned to Jess. "Me, you, kitchen now."**

* * *

**"**What's up?" Jess asked as they sat down next to the kitchen table. "You know, Dean, it's probably not smart to leave Sam alone in a strange house at a time like this."

"Kyle's with him. Don't change the subject." Dean narrowed his eyes at Jessica. "Why are you back? _How_ are you back?"

Jess sighed, looking down at the table for a moment. _I'm here to protect Sam_, Jessica thought. But, no, she couldn't tell Dean. Not yet. He'd freak out. Majorly. Jess looked up at Dean and nodded. "Fine. I was brought back. To help Sam at this time."

"Why? Who brought you back?" Dean asked. He didn't know if he could trust her... but he'd have to... in order for Sam to trust him. Because Sam loved Jessica, and he could remember her at the moment, not him. Damn, the irony.

"I'm sorry, Dean, that's all I can tell you," Jess said, standing up. "Just know that if Sam dies his soul will be in the hands of the Devil. And I want to keep that from happening." She walked back into the living room, leaving Dean to think about what she had just said.

* * *

Dean pulled off his shirt and sat down on his bed, sighing. Well, it was a good thing Jessica brought some memories back, right? That proved that she could help. But there was just _something_ about her that didn't feel right... Like she had been brought back for all the wrong reasons. Dean stood up. No, Sam couldn't stay with her. He'd be damned if he let her do something to him.

Dean opened his door and walked down the dark hall, only to run into something.

"Ow. Dean?" Sam asked, backing up a bit.

"Yeah," Dean said, rubbing his head where it had come into contact with Sam's. "Wait a minute. You spent all day with Jess. She told you who I am?"

"No," Sam said, walking over to Dean's door and opening it. Dean followed his brother and watched as he sat down in the bed he had occupied before. "I remember a lot. Jess... she gave me something. Said I wouldn't forget in the morning, either."

Dean nodded, sitting down on his own bed. "Good."

"Dean, I'm sorry about what I said... I'm sorry for pointing a gun at you and I'm sorry for leaving and threatening you when all you were trying to do was tell it to me straight and look out for me," Sam said, looking over at his brother, who seemed to be refusing to look at Sam.

Dean nodded, taking off his socks. "It's fine, Sam. I understand."

"No, Dean --"

"Yes, it is," Dean said, looking over at his brother. "Sam, it's not your fault you didn't remember anything. Hell, if it had been me I would've been freaking out, too. So, really, Sam, it's fine. Don't dwell on it."

"Well, back at the asylum --"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Hey, Sam, when that shapeshifter turned into me back in your friend Rebecca's town... it said some pretty bad stuff to you. I acted like I didn't hear it, but I did. And it was all true. So, you know what? It told you plain and simple what I was thinking, so it's only fair that you told me plain and simple what you were thinking. We're even now."

Sam nodded slightly. "Dean, I'm sorry that I left."

"Sam, I already told you. You didn't remember, so --"

"No... When I left for college," Sam said, looking down at the floor. "I'm sorry that I left you. You were always there, no matter what. And you promised me that you always would be... And you were. But I... I abandoned you. And I'm sorry."

Dean sighed slightly. He walked over to Sam's bed and sat down next to him. "Geez, man, what's with the increase of Chick Flick moments?"

Sam smiled slightly, looking over at his brother. "I remember, right after the creature attacked, when I asked you who you were. I remember your eyes, Dean. I remember the heart break... I remember seeing you soul shattered into a million pieces... I guess I'm just trying to make up for it."

Dean sighed, nodding. "Well, it's over now. You remember. Now all we have to do is figure out how the hell we're going to save you from dying." He stood up and just stood there for a moment. He was silent, then Sam heard a small sniffle. Something he had _never_ heard from his brother before.

"Dean?" Sam asked quietly, standing up. He put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

Dean turned around, a there were a few tears on his face. "Sammy, it did hurt. You not knowing me... you pointing that gun at me... me having to convince you who you were and who I was and that you could trust me... But what hurt worst of all was when you left last night... I searched for you for hours... but I couldn't find you. And I was just so _scared_. You couldn't remember anything, you couldn't defend yourself, and something was obviously hunting you... Sammy, I actually prayed last night. I prayed that nothing would happen to you, and you'd return to me safe and sound... And now you're back, and you have the woman you love, and you're so happy, and that makes me really happy..."

"But?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows. He was watching his brother break down in front of him, and all he could do was listen. It broke his heart.

"But I don't know how to save you. I don't know what to do," Dean said, looking away from Sam as more tears fell. He walked over to the other side of the room, shaking his head. "I researched and researched... and I couldn't find anything... Nothing. And your headaches have already started... Which means you're gonna die soon. And I can't do anything to stop it. And it scares me. I'm scared because I have no control over it, and I'm gonna lose you... I lost you before, but I knew we'd talk again. I wasn't worried about that, Sam... But this time... it'll be so.. so final. I won't see you again. And if you die, if you leave me, I don't think I'll be able to go on anymore."

Sam swallowed back a lump that had formed in his throat. He walked over to his brother and turned him around, hugging him tightly.

Dean sniffled again, hugging Sam back. "Don't leave me, Sammy. Please. I've got no one else."

"I'm not gonna leave you, Dean. I promise. I'd _never_ do that... Never again. You're stuck with me," Sam said, smiling slightly.

Dean laughed slightly and pulled away from Sam. "God, look at me, crying like a little girl."

"Dean?" Sam asked, sitting back down on his bed.

"Yeah?" Dean asked, drying his face with the back of his hand.

"I love you." Sam smiled at his brother slightly before laying back on the bed.

"You too," Dean said, sitting down on his own bed. He smiled slightly, then shook his head. "I love you too."

Sam looked over at Dean, a little shocked. Wow, Dean never said those four words. It was always like what he had said: 'you too.' What an... odd... change. Nice, but odd.

* * *

Sam awoke the next morning, looking around. He sat up, and smiled slightly when he noticed Dean still asleep, snoring. He remembered the dream he had had... Well, the memory.

"_Jessica!" Sam yelled, staring up at the burning body of his girlfriend._

_"Sam?" Dean yelled, running into the room. His eyes went wide as it fell on Jessica on the ceiling. He looked down at this brother, trying to shield his eyes from the flames, still yelling for his girlfriend. "Sam!" Dean ran over to his brother and grabbed him, pulling him out the door. He continued yelling her name, and struggled against Dean as he pulled him out of the room._

_"No!" Sam yelled as they started through the living room. "No, Dean, we have to go back for her!"_

_"We can't!" Dean yelled back, pulling Sam through the doorway. He had kicked open the door to get in the house before._

_Dean dragged Sam out next to the car, the tears already streaming down Sam's face._

_"No! Jessica!" Sam yelled, starting to stand up._

_"No, Sam, no!" Dean yelled, pushing him back down. "No."_

_"But I have to go get her..." Sam whispered, looking at his brother._

_Dean shook his head. "You can't, Sam... I'm sorry."_

_Sam put his head in his hands, a sob escaping his lips._

_Dean looked at Sam with sad eyes. He had seen Sam break down before, yes, but that was when they were kids. Sam had grown stronger since then. A lot stronger. Dean couldn't remember ever seeing Sam cry, except for the night he left to go to college..._

_Dean pulled his brother close, rubbing his back. "Shhh..."_

_"Jess..." Sam whispered._

_"We'll avenge her, Sammy... I promise." Dean whispered, pulling his brother even closer. He closed his eyes tightly. "I promise."_

Dean turned around and looked at Sam, yawning widely. "Dude, why are you staring at me?"

Sam smiled slightly. "I remembered something last night... And I know I never told you... but thanks."

"For what?" Dean asked, sitting up in his bed.

"For pulling me out of the fire the night Jessica died... For not letting me go back in."

"You just remembered that last night?" Dean asked, looking a bit worried.

"Don't worry, I remembered Jess dying yesterday... I relived the pain, but I'm alright now," Sam said, nodding. "Jess told me to think about all the good times we had together... And it helped. A lot. Anyway, I just remember what happened _after_ the flames last night. So, thanks."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Enough Chick Flick moments. We had enough of those last night," Dean said, groaning as he fell back on his pillow.

Sam smiled and laid back down. "Sure."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I wasn't gonna let you die. You're my only brother. And I love you. No matter what anyone says. Even myself."

Sam smiled slightly, nodding. "I love you too. No matter what I shoot at you."

"Oh, yeah, real funny," Dean said, mocking a laugh. He grabbed a pillow and threw it at Sam, who laughed, throwing it back, hitting Dean in the head.

Dean sat up quickly, looking over at Sam. "Oh, no you didn't." He grabbed a pillow just as Sam laughed and jumped out of bed. Dean then chased Sam out of the room and down the hall, hitting him a few times with the pillow as he did.

* * *

**Dean**: I'm gonna hurt you.

**Haley**: Why?

**Dean**: Do you even know how many Chick Flick moments I can count in that?

**Haley**: Eh... Well, uh... You were scared! Your brother is dying! I think even _you_ are entitled to a few 'Chick Flick moments.' You just won't admit it.

**Dean**: Yeah, whatever. Women...


	7. Chapter Seven: Well Placed Guilt

**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester... **_Hides tears as she tries to deal with this fact_**. The agony! **_Sob_**!

**Title**: Thoughtless Memories

**Chapter Title**: Chapter Seven: Well Placed Guilt

**Set After**: Asylum

**Summary**: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say 'I love you' like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn't feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... But one day Sam was attacked while Dean went out for coffee... And he found something worse than that pain. "Sam? You okay?" "Um... Do I know you?" Now Dean's fighting to save his only brother... and his memories... But will he make it in time?

**Warnings**: Self-blame; murder.

* * *

**Dean narrowed his eyes at Jessica. "Why are you back? _How_ are you back?"**

**Jess sighed, looking down at the table for a moment. _I'm here to protect Sam_, Jessica thought. But, no, she couldn't tell Dean. Not yet. He'd freak out. Majorly. Jess looked up at Dean and nodded. "Fine. I was brought back. To help Sam at this time."**

**"Why? Who brought you back?" Dean asked. He didn't know if he could trust her... but he'd have to... in order for Sam to trust him. Because Sam loved Jessica, and he could remember her at the moment, not him. Damn, the irony.**

**"I'm sorry, Dean, that's all I can tell you," Jess said, standing up. "Just know that if Sam dies his soul will be in the hands of the Devil. And I want to keep that from happening."**

* * *

"Sam, when you get your memory back, are you going back to school with me?" Jess asked, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout. She pushed some hair behind Sam's hair as they sat on Kyle's couch that night.

Sam looked over at Dean, who was researching on Kyle's laptop. He had stopped typing, and Sam knew that his older brother was waiting for his response. He smiled slightly and looked back at Jessica. "Sorry, Jess, I can't."

Jess pouted a bit and gave Sam puppy dog eyes. "Aw, why not? What happened to my boyfriend being Mr. Winchester, Attorney at Law?"

Sam smiled and laughed slightly. "Well, that dream has come and gone."

"Well, what's your new one?" Jess asked, raising her eyebrows in curiosity.

"Keeping my brother alive," Sam said, shrugging. "With what we do he's gonna need me there to bail him out and save his ass."

"Bitch," Dean said, typing on the keyboard, though he was smiling slightly.

"Well, as long as you're always thinking about me," Jess said, shrugging. She smiled and wrapped her arms around Sam's neck, kissing him deeply. Sam smiled and kissed her back.

"I'd appreciate it if I didn't have to watch my brother and his recently dead girlfriend make out," Dean said, looking over at the two.

Jess and Sam broke apart and looked over at him. Jess smirked, raising her eyebrows. "Well, then don't look," she said, causing Sam to laugh slightly and Dean to roll his eyes, though smiling slightly.

"Alright, fine, be that way," Dean said, standing up. He grabbed the computer, looking back and forth between the two. "You know, you're just as bad as him."

"Why, thank you. I take that as a compliment," Jess said before kissing Sam again.

"I'm gone," Dean said, turning towards the kitchen.

Jess looked at Sam for a moment before her eyes flashed red, then went back to normal.

"Woah, Jess," Sam said, jumping back slightly.

"What?" Dean asked, turning around.

"Her eyes just flashed red," Sam said, standing up quickly. Dean set down the laptop and slowly made his way over to the two.

"No, I'm not evil," Jess said quickly. "I'm not. You guys don't understand."

"Then explain it to us," Dean said, crossing his arms.

"I can show you," Jess whispered, looking down at the ground. "I can show you Mary's memory on the night she died..." She looked up at the two. "Then... Then I can show you my memory... From the night I died."

Sam nodded. "Okay." He sat down on the couch, then pulled Dean down next to him.

Jess stood up and sighed, putting her hands on each of their heads. She hesitated for a moment before taking them both into the memory.

_Mary, Sam and Dean's mother, rushed into Sam's room. She stared at the black figure. "Get away from my son."_

_The black figure turned around. He smirked slightly, and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Mary, I can't. Sam isn't like you. He isn't like **me**. He's strong. He's powerful... He's **evil**. Even more so than I am."_

_Mary shook her head. "No, he's not. Sam's a good boy."_

_"He's only a baby. One that I'm taking for myself. You shalln't see him again," the dark figure whispered before turning back to Sam._

_"No!" Mary yelled, running over to him. He turned around quickly, sticking something sharp in Mary's stomache. She screamed loudly, and he pulled it out, sticking it back in a few times. The figure moved his hand quickly, Mary flying to the ceiling. As he heard someone running up the steps he disappeared._

_John walked into the room, looking around quickly. When he didn't see anyone he breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to Sam's cradle. He smiled and reached out to his son, and touched his face softly. Then... then blood dripped on his hand. John looked confused, and he looked upward, finding Mary's body on the ceiling._

_"Mary!" John yelled as fire erupted around her. He grabbed Sam just as Dean ran into the room. John ran over to his oldest, handing the baby to him. "Take you brother outside as fast as you can! Now, Dean, go!"_

_Dean nodded and ran out as John turned back to his burning wife._

_"Your youngest will soon be mine..." a mysterious voice called out. John looked around before running out of the room._

Jess sighed slightly as the memory ended. She took a few deep breaths before launching into her own memory.

_Jess woke up in hers and Sam's room. She looked around and sighed slightly. "Oh, Sam, where **are** you..?" She got out of bed and walked over to their bathroom. "Well, now that I'm up I might as well take a refreshing shower..." Jess leaned over the tub and turned on the faucet before flipping the switch that turned the shower on._

_Jess turned around and walked out of the bathroom, knowing that the shower always took some time to turn hot. She sat down on the bed and grabbed a picture off her nightstand. She smiled as she looked at her and Sam on New Year's eve. She had actually convinced Sam into wearing one of those dorky pointy party hats, while she was wearing one herself. They both looked so lame it was laughable. They were in front of the camera, kissing, confetti falling around them, the sign in the back reading 'Happy New Year's!'_

_Jess smiled and set the picture down, standing up. Deciding a nice glass of wine would go perfect with her bath, she walked out of her room, heading towards the kitchen. Half way there she gasped as she saw a man in the darkness. She smiled slightly, shaking her head. "Sam, don't scare me like that!"_

_"I'm not Sam," the man said, his voice growling at her._

_Jess took a few shaky breaths, shaking her head. "Sam, that's not funny. Quit it. You know better than to try to scare me this late."_

_"I'm not Sam," the mysterious man repeated. Jess backed up a bit, the man following her slowly. "Where is he?"_

_"Why?" Jess asked, narrowing her eyes. She continued to back up, the man still following her._

_"I want him... No matter what anyone thinks he's **mine**. He doesn't have any family except me. Too bad I couldn't explain that to his mother before she sacrificed herself for him," the man said, with an air of one talking about the weather. He had succeeded into backing Jess into her room now. The lights flickered out before she could see his face."Will you do the same, or will you tell me where he is?"_

_"Sam's not here," Jess said, tripping over her bed and falling backwards on it._

_"Obviously," the man growled. "Where is he? Is he with his brother?"_

_"You'll never get anything out of me," Jess growled at him, standing up from the bed. "I love Sam and you're not going to get his whereabouts from me. Ever."_

_"Why do you protect someone who has been lying to you the whole time you've known him?" the man asked, smirking slightly._

_"What? No he hasn't," Jess said, unwilling to believe her ears. "And even if he has it was for a good reason. Sam loves me. He would only want to protect me."_

_"Guess again, sweetheart," the man said before sticking the same sharp object into Jessica's stomache._

Jess pulled her hands off of Sam and Dean's head, looking hesitant. She looked back and forth between her boyfriend and his brother. The two opened their eyes slowly, and Dean looked over at Sam quickly. Sam suddenly stood up, tears in his eyes.

"It's my fault," he said quietly.

"No," Dean said shaking his head. "Sam, it isn't --"

"Yeah. It is," Sam said, nodding. He looked at Jess, shaking his head. "Jess, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything and I'm sorry I'm the reason you died. I --"

"Sam, he wanted you, yes, but I died protecting you," Jess said, putting a hand on Sam's cheek. "Sam, I love you. And I'd never want anything to harm you. Neither did your mother. She loved you too. We were protecting you. We were protecting you from that _thing_."

"It's still my fault," Sam said, shaking his head. "You guys wouldn't have had to protect me if it didn't want me. Maybe..." Sam looked down at Dean, then back at Jess. He shook his head, turning from the two. "Maybe Mom should've let it take me."

Jess was opening her mouth, about to say something, when Dean held up his hand. She nodded and Dean stood up, walking over to Sam. "Don't you ever think that, Sam. Ever."

Sam turned around and faced his brother his eyes still teary. "But it's true."

"No, it's not," Dean said softly. "Without you our family would have been less of a family than it is. Without you both Dad and I would have been dead a long time ago. Without you I wouldn't have known that there was true honest-to-God good in this world. Without you I wouldn't have had someone to depend on and make me laugh and smile all these years. Without you --"

"Without you I wouldn't have been able to open my heart to true love," Jess said, walking over to the two. "Sam, I've been hurt so many times in my life, but you know what? You changed my mind about love and men. You've opened up a whole new world for me. And without you that wouldn't have been possible."

Dean smiled slightly, looking away from Jess to Sam again. "Sam, you're needed. So don't you ever think that you're not where you're supposed to be. If you think it one more time I swear I'll beat you. Got it?"

Sam smiled slightly, nodding. "Yeah. I got it."

Dean nodded. "Good." He then turned back to Jess. "Doesn't explain why your eyes flashed red."

"You're going to have to sit down for this one..." Jess said, smiling innocently.

* * *

**Sam**: Figures. It was all my fault.

**Dean**: Hey, listen to Haley's Story's Dean. He's smart. Handsome, too.

**Haley**: As cute as this brother-to-brother moment is, I'm on a role. And I've been keeping the idea for why Jess is back in my head for a while now. It'd like to type it out. So --

**Dean**: But --

**Haley**: Bye!

* * *

**Haley**: Now for our fav part: Review replying! I know I didn't wait long between updates, but that was because I was on a roll last night! Anyway, if you would like to reply to chapter 6, then go ahead! I'll still reply to your review next time!

**Dean**: **_Shakes head after staring at Haley_**. 'SupernaturalGurl': Actually, you know what? I don't really enjoy it all that much. But you really think so..? Huh, thanks for the tip with the ladies!

**Sam**: 'Spuffyshipper': Hey, you're back! What's up? Anyway, Haley was actually planning something similar to that. She --

**Dean**: **_Sudders._**

**Sam**: She was going to make Dean walk in on us.

**Dean**: **_Sudders again, worse._ **If she does that I shall kill her. Anyway, 'Crazyficlady': Trust me, with the way Haley stays up all night, this baby will be done before she goes back to school on Tuesday.

**Haley**: Thanks for reviewing! Until next time! Love ya'll!


	8. Chapter Eight: Clear

**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester... **_Kicks Disclaimer_**... **_Thinks_**... **_Beats Disclaimer up_**.

**Title**: Thoughtless Memories

**Chapter Title**: Chapter Eight: Clear

**Set After**: Asylum

**Summary**: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say 'I love you' like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn't feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... But one day Sam was attacked while Dean went out for coffee... And he found something worse than that pain. "Sam? You okay?" "Um... Do I know you?" Now Dean's fighting to save his only brother... and his memories... But will he make it in time?

**Warnings**: Attack; loss; betrayal

* * *

**"Woah, Jess," Sam said, jumping back slightly.**

**"What?" Dean asked, turning around.**

**"Her eyes just flashed red," Sam said, standing up quickly. Dean set down the laptop and slowly made his way over to the two.**

**"No, I'm not evil," Jess said quickly. "I'm not. You guys don't understand."**

**"Then explain it to us," Dean said, crossing his arms.**

**"I can show you," Jess whispered, looking down at the ground. "I can show you Mary's memory on the night she died..." She looked up at the two. "Then... Then I can show you my memory... From the night I died."**

**"Doesn't explain why your eyes flashed red."**

**"You're going to have to sit down for this one..." Jess said, smiling innocently.**

* * *

Dean sighed, rolling his eyes. He sat down on the couch, Sam hesitating for a moment before joining him. Jess sighed, following them. She paced in front of the brothers for a moment, thinking of the best way to put it.

"Oh, please, keeping avoiding the topic at hand. We really have all day. I can just ask the creature nicely to please heal Sam and hurt him later so we'll have more time till his death date," Dean said sarcastically, forcing a smile.

Jess sighed, rolling her eyes. "Fine." She faced the two, nodding. "I guess it's no surprise by now that the mysterious man in the night wants Sam."

"He does? Really? Gee, I would have never guessed," Dean mocked, pretending to look surprised.

"Dean, let her finish," Sam said, sighing slightly. "Please?"

Dean leaned back in the couch, crossing his arms. He looked at Jess.

"Well, he wants Sam to train him. He believes Sam to be powerful, and he wants to use that power to his advantage. Well, he wants Sam _healthy_ and _uninjured_." Jess nodded, pacing a bit more. "When the creature attacked he knew right away that Sam wouldn't live long unless he interfered. So he brought me back. He, uh... He keeps the spirits of those he kills. He tries to, at least. Your mother was lucky... She escaped. Anyway, he had my spirit in his little 'collection,' so he brought me back. He would have visited you himself, but he knew it was best to have someone help you that you knew and trusted. So he asked me to help so you wouldn't die. I wouldn't have agreed, considering he's evil, but I knew that if you died he'd just take your soul and extract your powers from it. He told me himself just exactly how he'd do that. And I'd rather you have a fighting chance against him. At least with you living you and your brother can track him down before he can lay a finger on you.

"Sam, he doesn't know exactly where you are, but he always keeps an eye on you. He knows when you're hurt, physically, mentally, emotionally... He knows when you've suffered something traumatic or when you've been possessed by something... He takes over people that are around you and flashes in and then back out in a matter of seconds. And since I'm sort of 'working' for him now, well... He used me. He used me to check up on you. That's why my eyes flashed red." Jess looked down at the ground, looking ashamed of herself.

"I knew there was something wrong about you!" Dean yelled, standing up quickly. "You're working for the thing that wants my brother!"

Jess looked at Dean quickly, her eyes widening slightly. She shook her head. "Dean, I would _never_ want Sam dead. I --"

"How can you say that when you're working for something that has killed my mother _and you_ to get to him?" Dean growled.

Sam stood up and put an arm across Dean's chest, keeping him back. "Dean, what did she _just_ say? She said that she was helping him because if I die then my soul will go to him. If I'm alive we can hunt him down and kill him so he can't take me."

Dean narrowed his eyes at Jess. "I still don't trust you."

Jess nodded, shrugging. "I don't blame you, Dean. You can distrust me all you like. Just as long as you let me help."

Dean's hand turned into a fist, him looking pissed beyond all reason. After a few moments he growled again, pointing a finger at her. "Fine. You can help. Just because I know you can help Sam. But that's it."

Jess nodded. "Okay. Thank you." She looked around, making sure they were alone. She stepped closer to them. "Now back to more important things. Kyle --

"Will you still be here after this is all through?" Sam asked, looking like he was dreading the answer.

Jess smiled sadly at him, touching his cheek softly. "Well... we'll see how things turn out, and we'll go from there." She kissed him softly, then pulled away slowly. "Anyway..." She looked around again before whispering: "Kyle's working for the creature that attacked Sam."

"What?" Sam asked, staring at Jess. He looked a bit shocked, and a bit freaked.

"No he's not. His brother was _attacked_ by the creature," Dean said, raising an eyebrow. He stared at Jess like she was crazy.

"His brother _is_ the creature, you idiot," Jess said, staring at Dean like it was the most obvious thing.

Sam stepped between them as Dean opened his mouth to retaliate. Just then the lights flickered out, and the three of them looked around quickly.

"Sam," Dean whispered, grabbing for his brother. Only Sam wasn't there... Dean's eyes went wide, and he searched, grabbing the air each time he tried. "Sammy? Sammy, speak to me!"

"Dean..." Sam said quietly, his voice sounding strained.

"Sam!" Dean yelled as the lights flickered back on. The creature was in the room, holding Sam in its grasps. One of his pointy nails were touching Sam's head, and it looked as if he was daring Dean to move closer.

"Leave him alone," Jess growled, glaring at the creature.

Kyle walked out of the kitchen, looking smug. "Sorry, baby, he can't. See, my brother was cursed by his kind. The evil hunting men with strange powers... We weren't even evil. We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time... Now the only way to turn my brother back to a mortal is to kill one of the men who cursed him."

"But Sam didn't do anything, you freak!" Dean yelled.

"No, but he's like the one who cursed my brother. The one in the family who wants so desperately to be normal, while all the while _he's _the reason they're not." Kyle smirked, shrugging. "Luckily for you we can only kill him on a full moon, so you can live knowing that he won't die for another three nights."

"But I saw his grave!" Dean yelled, looking as though he was just about to start panicking. But he couldn't. If he was ever going to save Sam then he couldn't freak out... Not just yet, anyway.

"When he was cursed my family didn't want to believe in what he had become. So they acted like he was dead... Sent him away to live in a cave to they wouldn't be reminded of him... Buried an empty coffin for closure," Kyle said, shrugging slightly. "That's where his grave came from."

"Take me and leave my brother alone," Dean growled, pleading in his own way. "Please."

Kyle looked over at his brother and Sam, smirking slightly. "You know, that'd be the third person that as sacrificed themselves for Sam... _And_ sacrifice makes for a hell of a meal. Maybe --"

"No!" Sam yelled. He shook his head, looking over at Dean. He spoke to the creature and Kyle, but his eyes never left Dean's. "No. You want me. You attacked me, not him. So take _me_."

"No, Sammy, no," Dean said, shaking his head. Tears were coming to his eyes. "Please, Sammy --"

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"It's Sam," Sam said, causing Dean to smile slightly. The creature stuck his nail in Sam's head, causing him to scream out in pain, before Kyle grabbed onto it and the three disappeared.

* * *

**Dean**: If I thought I was going to kill you before, now I'm --

**Haley**: Hey, hey, hey. Hold it. The story's not over. As much as I hate to tell my readers how my stories end... my regular readers know that even if I _do_ kill off a character... they _never_ stay dead long. I just can't kill of characters. It's a writer's flaw of mine. So, no, Sam's not going to die. I mean, when I just read the _summary_ of a writer's story, and it said character death, I freaked out! I totally exited out of the window. I couldn't even deal with _seeing_ those words. I swear, I totally freaked.

**Dean**: Well, that's good to know. I'd hate for my handsome face to became less attractive cause you'd make me act like a little girl and bawl my eyes out.

**Sam**: So you're saying, if Haley didn't control you and I died, that you wouldn't cry?

**Dean**: Well... er...

**Sam**: You so would.

**Dean**: Onto the next chapter!

**Sam**: Dean --

**Dean**: Bye! **_Runs off quickly, not looking back_**.


	9. Chapter Nine: Torture and Pain

**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester... **_Wallows in self pity cause she can't own two of the sexiest men alive_**.

**Title**: Thoughtless Memories

**Chapter Title**: Chapter Nine: Torture and Pain

**Set After**: Asylum

**Summary**: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say 'I love you' like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn't feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... But one day Sam was attacked while Dean went out for coffee... And he found something worse than that pain. "Sam? You okay?" "Um... Do I know you?" Now Dean's fighting to save his only brother... and his memories... But will he make it in time?

**Warnings**: uh... hitting... but that's it xD

* * *

**The creature was in the room, holding Sam in its grasps. One of his pointy nails were touching Sam's head, and it looked as if he was daring Dean to move closer.**

**Kyle walked out of the kitchen, looking smug. "My brother was cursed by his kind. The evil hunting men with strange powers... We weren't even evil. We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time... Now the only way to turn my brother back to a mortal is to kill one of the men who cursed him."**

**"But Sam didn't do anything, you freak!" Dean yelled.**

**"No, but he's like the one who cursed my brother. The one in the family who wants so desperately to be normal, while all the while _he's _the reason they're not." Kyle smirked, shrugging. "Luckily for you we can only kill him on a full moon, so you can live knowing that he won't die for another three nights."**

**The creature stuck his nail in Sam's head, causing him to scream out in pain, before Kyle grabbed onto it and the three disappeared.**

* * *

"Sammy!" Dean yelled, running over to the spot the three disappeared in. He shook his head. "No... No, Sammy..."

Jess walked over to Dean and sighed slightly. "We have to find the cave."

Dean nodded slightly. "Yeah... Yeah, you're right..." He quickly walked over to the laptop and grabbed it, sitting down on the couch.

"What are you doing?" Jess asked, raising her eyebrows. "Dean, Sam is going to be killed in three days! Why the hell are you surfing the web at a time like this?"

Dean looked up at Jess. "Jessica, I know what I'm doing. You haven't spent your whole god damn life hunting things. You haven't spent twenty two years of your life watching over Sam, making sure things didn't kill his ass when you were hunting together. You didn't check on him every chance you had for two years straight to make sure he was still _alive _because he wasn't with you anymore and you couldn't protect him. You weren't the one who took rock salt in the chest because you were just trying to help him! You weren't the one that had an empty gun pointed at your head, with Sam pulling the trigger because you wanted to help him get his god damn anger out! Jessica, you don't know anything, so don't you _dare_ question how I do things!"

Jess sighed angrily, narrowing her eyes at Dean. "Fine. Then what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm looking up all the listed caves in this town so we can start searching them and find Sam," Dean said, looking back at the computer. "Satisfied now?"

"It was you," Jessica said, sounding in awe. She stared at Dean, then laughed slightly, shaking her head. "It was you the whole god damn time."

"What was me?" Dean asked, looking over at Jessica. He sighed, rolling his eyes. Sam was probably being tortured at the moment and she couldn't even stay on the topic at hand? They didn't have time for this.

"The whole time I was with Sam it seemed like he wasn't really all in it. Like he was thinking about somebody else..." Jess stepped closer to Dean, staring at him, still in awe. "The whole time I thought it was another girl... A girl from his past, maybe, that he hadn't ever gotten over. A girl that he always thought about, wondered how she was doing... But it wasn't. It was you, Dean. _You_ were the one he couldn't stop thinking about. _You_ were the one that made it so he couldn't concentrate. He was wondering if _you_ were okay and if _you_ were alive. It was you."

Dean stared at her for a moment, then shook her head. "No. He left me, Jess. He left me to go to college."

"But he still cared. If he didn't he wouldn't have left me to go hunt with you. He was worried that you'd get yourself killed searching for your father. He didn't want that to happen," Jess said. She sighed sadly and sat down on the couch, shaking her head. "I can't believe it was you all along."

"Let's just focus on finding him, alright?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows. He went back to searching on the computer, though he was smiling -- Inside, at least.

"Dean, I can't stay," Jess whispered. "Once we've saved Sam and defeated the creature... I can't stay."

"I know," Dean said quietly, nodding. He didn't take his eyes of the screen. "I'll get Sam through it. I promise."

"I'm gonna give you a premonition of the future... One you'll be able to show Sam," Jess said, looking up at him.

Dean looked at Jess. He nodded. "Alright. Then show me how to show Sam."

Jess nodded, smiling slightly. "Okay."

* * *

Kyle chained Sam up to the wall, both his ankles and wrists tied up, along with his neck. Not enough to choke him, of course. No, that couldn't happen. Then they'd lose the soul they needed three days from now. And then Dean and Jessica would come, and they'd fight for nothing. At least with Sam alive his brother could have _both_ the brothers... And they'd keep Jessica's soul for themselves, along with Sam's powers.

"So, Sam, comfortable?" Kyle asked, tightening the restraint around Sam's neck. Sam coughed slightly, closing his eyes tightly. When he opened them he looked away from Kyle, avoiding his gaze. "What, you don't want to talk? Come on, Sam, we were friends. Even for that short time."

Sam looked over at Kyle slowly, glaring at him. "Go to hell," he growled before spitting on him.

Kyle wiped the spit off of his face slowly, laughing slightly. Sam smiled a pissed off smile, nodding. "Good one."

"Thanks," Sam said, still glaring at him.

Kyle stuck his hand in his pocket, pulling out a ring. He slipped it on his finger, still laughing slightly. He then brought his hand back, backhanding Sam. Sam's lip started to bleed a bit, and his cheek was red, purple where the ring had been forced into his skin. "Watch yourself, boy." He then walked around the corner, leaving Sam alone in the darkness of the cave.

* * *

"Got it?" Jess asked, raising her eyebrows.

Dean nodded. "Yeah." He now knew exactly what Jess wanted Sam to know, and knew how to share the premonition with him. He smiled slightly, thinking back on it. "Sam's gonna love you even more for it, you know that?"

Jess laughed, nodding. "Yeah... Well, you were there, too."

Dean nodded, still smiling. "Yeah... I was." He cleared his throat and dropped his smiling, looking back over at the laptop. "Well, that won't come true if we don't save him."

Jess nodded, looking serious. "Right. Yeah." She remained silent for a few moments, looking around. Best let Dean concentrate on the task at hand. "Anything?"

Dean nodded slowly, focused on reading something on the screen. He clicked the mouse a few times, then looking over at Jess, sporting his famous sly grin. "Yeah. There's a cave in the words right behind a cemetery. The cemetery where Kyle's brother's grave is."

Jess raised her eyebrows, walking over to him. She looked over his shoulder. "Really?"

Dean nodded, closing the laptop and standing up. "Let's go kill that mother --"

"Watch your language," Jess said, grabbing her jacket. She smirked and walked out the door.

Dean stared at her like she was insane before following.

* * *

**Haley**: Guess who's back?

**Dean**: Shut up.

**Haley**: He couldn't stand not knowing what was going to happen to Sam.

**Sam**: Aw, Dean, that's sweet. I love you too.

**Dean**: Shut up, bitch.

**Haley**: Good news!

**Sam**: What?

**Haley**: I'm writing another Supernatural fic after his one. Ya'll get transported to the real world and meet up with Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. I think I'm gonna make it a slash fic.

**Dean**: **_Scared and hesitant_**. Between who?

**Haley**: You two, of course.

**Sam & Dean**: **_Stare at each other for a moment. Looks over at Haley. Looks back at each other_**. Ew!

* * *

**Haley**: And, of course --

**Dean**: Review reply time… again.

**Sam**: 'SupernaturalGurl': Hey, at least somebody agrees with me.

**Haley**: Okay, I know this is odd, but I'm going to reply to a review personally. Just cause I love them so much for it! 'Ghostwriter': Actually, you didn't miss 'em. I just update two or three chapters at a time. And thanks! Thanks so, so much for that compliment! But I doubt they'd let a sixteen year old write their scripts, ya know? XP

**Dean**: 'Spuffyshipper': Four words: I would kill them.

**Sam**: And I really don't doubt it.

**Dean**: On my car? **_Shudder_**

**Sam**: 'iluvsmallville': Okay, um, take deep breaths. It'll all be okay. Just take deep breaths…

**Dean**: 'doyoufeellikeyourfallingdown': Okay, that makes sense. And Chapter Six was alright… I guess…

**Sam**: 'willofthering': Really? I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing…

**Dean**: 'KatieMalfoy19': I'm back, I'm back! Keep your pants on! Wait. You're a chick. Actually --

**Sam**: Just continue with the reply.

**Dean**: Right. Well, of course I'm cute. And I promise I won't be crying anytime soon… or in the next five years. Unless--alright, I admit it! Unless Sam dies!

**Sam**: Aw, thanks, love you too.

**Dean**: Shut up, bitch.

**Sam**: 'calistra': You know what? I hope so too.

**Haley**: Again, must reply to one myself. 'JEM515': The dialogue is what keeps me awake after a long night of type. I usually do these stories at two or three in the morning. And I look forward to them, too. They get me through the chapter. Sometimes I feel like I can't write anymore, and then I think of the fun I have during the 'script' stuff. And, thanks. Actually, the idea came to me as I was wrighting the story. I never think up ideas and make a story out of that. Doing that makes my stories suck. I'm more of the 'in the moment' kinda gal. And I'm sorry about the confusion! But I can't explain it any better than that without going into the whole story about him… sorry! And thanks! **And thanks to everyone else for reviewing! Love ya'll!**


	10. Chapter Ten: It Ends

**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester... I've come to except this fact... Sorta... **_Sniffle_**.

**Title**: Thoughtless Memories

**Chapter Title**: Chapter Ten: It Ends

**Set After**: Asylum

**Summary**: Dean thought Sam hated him. What better way to say 'I love you' like rock salt in the chest, right? He thought he couldn't feel any worse pain than he had when his brother spat those words at him, then shot him... But one day Sam was attacked while Dean went out for coffee... And he found something worse than that pain. "Sam? You okay?" "Um... Do I know you?" Now Dean's fighting to save his only brother... and his memories... But will he make it in time?

**Warnings**: Violent murder

* * *

**Jess nodded, looking serious. She remained silent for a few moments, looking around. Best let Dean concentrate on the task at hand. "Anything?"**

**Dean nodded slowly, focused on reading something on the screen. He clicked the mouse a few times, then looking over at Jess, sporting his famous sly grin. "Yeah. There's a cave in the words right behind a cemetery. The cemetery where Kyle's brother's grave is."**

* * *

"This is the place?" Jess asked as Dean stopped the car next to the cemetary. When Dean nodded she got out of the car, staring at the trees behind the graves. It looked so... ick. "Seriously? We have to go in _there_."

"I could always safe his ass on my own," Dean said, shrugging. "I've done it before."

Jess looked over at Dean, looking a bit pleading. "Could you?"

Dean sighed, laughing slightly. He nodded. "Yeah, sure. Sam wouldn't forgive me if I pulled him girlfriend into danger with me, anyway."

"He would," Jess said, nodding. "Don't worry about that." As Dean got out some guns and silver bullets she watched him. "I'm sorry I couldn't help more."

Dean looked up at Jess after loading a gun with silver bullets. He shrugged. "You helped him get his memory back. And you made it so it staid back. _And_ you help me convince him that he _should_ be in this world. I couldn't ask for me."

Jess smiled slightly, nodding. "Well, I'm just glad that I could do something." She sighed, looking back over at the trees, then back at Dean. "Well, go save my man, huh?"

Dean smiled, nodding. He closed the trunk. "You got it." He started towards the trees, and when he passed her he slapped her ass. He shrugged, smiling innocently at her. "Sorry, couldn't resist."

* * *

"He's coming," Kyle said, looking around the cave. He smirked, nodding. "I knew he would. Now we can kill him."

Sam's eyes went wide. "No! Dean! Stay back! No!"

Kyle smirked, looking over at Sam. He walked towards him slowly, smirking. "Shut up." Again, with his ring in place, he backhanded Sam. "Look, Sammy, I don't want you ruining our plan. So stay out." Kyle walked over to the table and grabbed a knife, walking back over to Sam. He stuck it in his stomache, smirking widely. Sam screamed out in pain. "Got it?"

* * *

Dean's eyes went wide as he neared the cave. Sam was screaming at him from where he was being held prisoner.

_"No! Dean! Stay back! No!"_ This was followed by a loud scream of pain a few moments later.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I can't let you die. Even if that means dying in the process," Dean whispered.

* * *

_"I'm sorry, Sammy. I can't let you die. Even if that means dying in the process." _

Sam breathed deeply, confused. He had just heard his brother whisper something as if he was standing right next to him. What the hell? He shook his head. He had to warn Dean, using this connection. He had to.

"No, Dean, they'll kill you. Please don't come any closer," Sam whispered, tears coming to his eyes. "They'll kill you right in front of me. Please don't... Or I'll sacrifice myself right now."

* * *

_"No, Dean, they'll kill you. Please don't come any closer."_

"What the hell?" Dean asked out loud. He put his finger to his ear as if he was having trouble. He looked around quickly. "Sam?"

_"They'll kill you right in front of me. Please don't... Or I'll sacrifice myself right now."_

"Damnit, Sam, when I get you out of this I'm gonna beat you," Dean said, shaking his head. He walked towards the cave, peaking inside a bit. Putting his gun up, he slowly walked inside, peaking around the corners.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," came Kyle's sing songy voice from not to far away.

"Dean, go back!" Sam yelled.

"I thought I told you to shut up?" Kyle asked. Dean then heard Sam's scream again.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled, running down the cave. Granted, it wasn't the best idea. The best was to be sneaky so Kyle and his brother couldn't hear Dean, but really, he wasn't thinking straight? And could you expect him to, with his brother being torture only a bit away? I didn't think so.

Dean ran to where Sam, Kyle and Kyle's brother was. His eyes fell on Sam, who was bleeding from his stomache. His cheek was bruised and there was a small, dried up trail sprouting from his puffy bottom lip. His leg was also sporting some nice blood, too, and it looked as if the strap around his neck was cutting into his skin.

"Let him go," Dean growled, narrowing his eyes at Kyle and the creature.

"Let me think about that..." Kyle said, pretending to actually care. "Hmm... No."

"We can help fix him," Sam said, looking over at Kyle's brother. "We've dealt with worse before. Please, we can lift the curse. You're not evil yet. You're very bad, but you're not evil. Why would you want to be classified as evil after killing me?"

Kyle narrowed his eyes at Sam. "I don't believe you."

Dean growled and pointed his gun at the creature. "Kill my brother and I kill yours."

Kyle looked over at Dean. "I'm willing to die for him, you know. Shoot the gun at him and I'll get in front."

"Try to kill my brother and you'll be killing me, bitch," Dean said, the gun still pointed at Kyle's brother. "You're not the only one who will die for his brother."

Sam closed his eyes, breathing hard. He shook his head. "Dean, please, just go."

"See, even Sammy will do it," Dean said, shrugging.

"Dean, go!" Sam yelled.

"No," Dean said, calmly. "I won't. You're all I've got left Sam, and I'm not letting you lose me that easy. You promised me you wouldn't leave me. Up hold that promise. I need you to."

"Well, it won't help much if you die in place of me," Sam sighed, sighing.

"Oh, that's not going to happen," Dean said, firing the gun. As promised, Kyle acted quickly and jumped in front of the creature, the bullet flying into his chest. Dean shot again as Kyle fell to the ground, this time getting the creature in the heart. Satisfied, he walked over to the two, glaring down at Kyle. "I would let you live, but you've given my brother some scars that will never go away. You hurt him. And for that you're dead." Dean shot Kyle again and again, causing Sam to look away.

"Dean!" Sam yelled after the third shot.

"What?" Dean asked, looking over at Sam.

"I think he's dead," Sam said, smiling slightly.

"Yeah, I guess..." Dean said before kicking Kyle. "Bastard." He walked over to Sam, putting his gun in the back of his pants as he did. He undid the restraints. "Can you walk?" When Sam shook his head, Dean supported him as they walked out of the cave.

* * *

Dean helped Sam into the passenger seat, walking around the Impala to the driver's seat.

"Where's Jess?" Sam asked, looking over at his brother.

"She, uh... she couldn't stay," Dean said, avoiding Sam's eyes. He started the car, then sighed, looking over at his little brother. "She wanted me to show you something."

"What?" Sam asked, leaning back in the seat.

Dean took Sam's hand, and Sam cocked an eyebrow at him. Dean laughed slightly, shaking his head. "Only way I can show you. Deal. Now close your eyes." Sam did as he was told, and Dean tapped into Sam's psychic powers, willing the premonition to surface.

_Dean knocked on the door of a white house, with a brown roof. Around the house was a white picket fence... go figure. And Dean was carrying a little boy. A little boy with blonde hair._

_Sam opened the door, and smiled widely as he took the boy from Dean. "Hey!"_

_"Hi, Uncle Sammy!" the boy said, smiling widely. He hugged Sam tightly, and Sam stepped back as Dean entered the house, closing the door behind him._

_"How's Charolette?" Sam asked as he carried his nephew into his kitchen, Dean following._

_"She's good," Dean said, nodding. "A little shaken from being possessed, but good."_

_Sam smiled, nodding. "You'd think after five years of being in this family she'd be used to all that crazy sh --" He looked down at the boy, then at Dean, who gave him a threatening look. "... stuff."_

_Dean shrugged, taking the boy from Sam and setting him on the floor. "Johnny, buddy, why don't you go find your cousins and your Auntie Carrie, huh?" _

_The boy nodded, smiling widely. "Okay, Daddy," he said before running out of the kitchen. _

_"How are they? The kids, I mean?"_

_Sam shrugged. "Fine. Just like they were yesterday when you visited."_

_"And Carrie?"_

_"Fine," Sam said, laughing slightly. "Dean, you always ask about Carrie. Why? Do you think **He** is going to return? Because he isn't. We killed him."_

_Dean nodded. "Yeah, right. I know."_

_"Dean, you're thirty four. He's been gone for six years now. Time to stop being so paranoid," Sam said, opening the fridge and handing Dean a beer._

_"I know. And don't remind me of my age. Makes me feel old," Dean said, shuddering slightly._

_"Daddy, Daddy!" a little girl yelled, running over to Sam._

_Sam picked her up, smiling. "What it is, Mary?"_

_"There's a monster in my closet."_

_Sam looked over at Dean, who sighed. "I got it." Dean then walked out of the kitchen, pulling out a gun from the back of his pants._

Sam opened his eyes slowly, looking over at Dean. He smiled slightly. "Jess showed you that?"

Dean nodded, also smiling slightly. "Yeah, Sam, she did."

"Mary," Sam said quietly.

"John," Dean said, smiling. "Looks like you got Mom and I got Dad. Oh joy." Sam smiled, laughing slightly. "Feel better now?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah. I do. Thanks."

"Good. Now let's go get you to a hospital or something," Dean said before driving away.

* * *

The End

* * *

**Dean**: You know what? I think, finally, I like a part in your story.

**Sam**: I've always liked it, but what Jess showed Dean for him to show me was nice. I liked that.

**Haley**: **_Big smile_**. Yay! Good! I wanted to mix the idea of a normal life (finally) with the life you knew growing up. Possessions, monster in the closet, while having kids and wives and, er... white picket fences.

**Dean**: Thank god it was around Sam's house. I would've chopped it down.

**Sam**: Now to talk about the sequel. Right, Hales?

**Haley**: Right, Sam! **_Big phony grin_**. Actually, guys, there's only gonna be a sequel if _you_ want one. I wasn't going to deal with the mysterious man of the night that killed Mary and Jess because I was gonna leave that up to the WB, ya know? That's _their_ story line and I'm gonna let _them_ let it turn out how it's gonna turn out. _But_ if ya'll want me to, I'll dig deeper into it and make it the sequel to this fic. If not, no skin off my shoulders. I'm starting another fan fiction, remember?

**Sam**: Would be interesting, though. And you'd still have us at the end of the chapters, too!

**Dean**: Oh joy.

**Haley**: Okay, now I just want to thank all my readers! Love ya'll so, so much! I was in a funk for a while -- My _Charmed_ stories are incomplete because I had a writer's block forever. So I decided a nice _Supernatural_ story -- a change -- might help. And ya'll liked it! So I have my confidence back. Thanks so much! Until next time! **_Wink_**.


End file.
